Mindfulness of Being

I have recently dropped listening to good music when I am in one of those weird moods. Where nothing is making you chipper then a good beat to rock out to. 

I need my alone time, just as much as I need my socializing time. I need some time to socialize with new people, as well as spending some quality time with the people who are already near and dear to me. I keep reminding myself that in the spending your "time" (something I have not been able to grasp lately) either a friend, family member, or a stranger, Its an important moment non the least. 

"The most important person is who you're with"

My dear friend -Chuck Manley

I will be leaving with no routine in mind, just me, my pack and I. When I do get on the road,  I want to stop the routine. So knowing me, it will hopefully feel fresh once again. Like living each moment as if I am breathing in the fresh, cool air after sitting in a stuffy car. Once I get out, everything will feel refreshing. No more obligations to be had. 

I have been reading The Power Of Now, by EckHart Tolle. The Power Of Now has become one of my new obligations. One of the things I am working on right now in my life is to really live in the moment. That means calming my mind, slowing my thoughts down and feeling my present moment of  my being. 

To being mindful, and to not be mindful at all, because I have to calm my mind. It's hard to explain, and I am no teacher, I am just trying to find out how this works by writing it down.

Living in the moment is harder then most things I have ever had to do. Its a harder mentally to just BE. To take what is coming at me, like a wave, and letting it pass without chasing it. I am learning a lot about how to focus, and not letting my mind take control over my own striving will.

I try to do this exercise many times throughout the day. I seem to break the cycle by thinking about the thought of me just living. I am alive right NOW. As I type this, I am living, not hurting, not dying, not suffering. Right now is a great moment. I am able to realize that I am LIVING. And what a great gift to be given.

Sure, I can find the little things to complain about, and I am not saying I don't, because I do. There are plenty of things in a day that I don't enjoy. The rain, the wind, the screeching sires and the ear piercing pedestrians at night. Those are negative thoughts that I have to get past  somehow. I am still working on that.....

5 Inspirations for Being in the Moment

I like to read an assortments of blogs. Poems, Photography, Travel, Family, anything that has inspirational creativity behind it. The whole aspect of using the internet is to share creativity, thoughts, feelings and ideas. I am a fan of anyone who does this. Anyone who is brave enough to put something out that is important to them, and they feel like it can make somebody happy- I am rooting them on. Putting my best work out there for criticism teaches me about who I am by what I can do more of for myself. I know when somebody gives me criticism, I feel a little bruised, but I somehow do learn from it and some point in time.

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Blogs I read for Inspirational Creativity

Oceans, by Sui (Pronounced like Sway) Sea Solitaire

A friend who is always making me feel in awe when I read her new poems. She is such a brilliant writer!

post-traumatic

Nobody asked me if I was traumatised
        after I was mugged by three men
        in my birth city at the age
        of 17.
For the record, I wasn’t.
They didn’t hurt me,
        much — anyway,
        and besides, they were
        strangers.
They didn’t take anything
        like my love, my dignity,
        my agency over my own
        body, my freedom
        my will to speak
        or live
        or eat
        or breathe.
They didn’t take anything
but my cell phone.

At 5:30 this morning I awoke
to screams.
A woman, screaming.
It’s always a woman, us women.
That night at 17, I screamed, too

        but not out loud
        on the nights
        I disappeared from my body
At 5:51 the police lights flashed
down the hill into my apartment.
        My walls, red and blue,
                red and blue.
The police once came
        to my house, too
        because I cried and screamed
        so loud.

That was my cry for help.
Nobody, not even myself
was allowed to answer it.

Niko Ritter- Magican On A Motorcycle

A Busker friend I had met in Seattle, who continues to ride his dreams into reality

(his story here)

"Since beginning this lifestyle experiment, I’ve grown comfortable with things going wrong because it’s part of the unexpected. Between busking and motorcycling, you can expect plenty of the unexpected. You get used to challenges, to the bike not starting, to people walking away during a show, to things going “wrong”. I find these mishaps are nourishing if you soak them in instead of trying to shelter yourself from them. Being cold and wet makes you appreciate being dry and warm even more. You never know when your personal storm might be interrupted by a sun break."

Steve Roggenbuck- Livemylief

I first found Steve on Youtube, and I couldn't stop watching his brilliant videos. After watching quite a few of his videos, I had discovered more of his poetry on his website. He is a reminder that no matter what you want to create, its up to you if your happy with it or not. Build yourself up to whatever you see yourself fit for. Steve, the great poet on paper and on the web.

 

Chuck Manley - Superman to the Soul
  (My written piece on Chuck)


One of my dearest friends who I can always count on to give me a good laugh, while subconsciously giving me the power to focus on what I really want out of life. I appreciate the wisdom that comes from within him, because while he is learning more about what he wants, he is showing everyone me how to do the same. I can't wait to hear about his travels in India! 9 more days and it will be the start of his new adventure.

"When things get tough in my travels I find a sense of homesickness in my heart.  It feels empty and sad and gives me a yearning for something.  A something that feels slightly out of reach.  I tell myself, “I want to go home,” but thinking of where that is only makes it worse.  I don’t know where home is, or how to get there, or if it’s even somewhere that I can go towards.

Home is where the heart is.

Home isn’t a location though.  It’s a feeling inside that can be brought about no matter where my feet land.  Whether it’s the familiar streets of where I grew up, the back alleys of San Pedro La Laguna, or in the chaos and turmoil of stepping off the bus into a foreign place.  Home is like a lover’s embrace.  It’s is a place where you can be yourself without judgement.  It gives you a sense of belonging, familiarity, and comfort.  Home is that feeling you get where you’re right where you need to be in this world."

Human Adaptation

Most mornings, when I wake up, I make a choice. Before I have had a chance to do anything, I try to think of the exact feeling I want to have by the end of that day. Will I choose to feel accomplished? What way have I chosen to define my accomplishments?  Or, do I choose to have an anxiety ridden filled day with tons of errands, and a shitty attitude? Those choices are the first and only choices I have to ponder when I open my eyes to a new dawn.

To me, a new day is a personal gift, one that I {try to} appreciate each morning. I, on most days {because we all have our off days}, pick to feel good about myself, to share with my neighbors in this world, and to pay attention to my surroundings. 

I now choose to pass up anything negative that may lay ahead of me. I do my best to look forward to certain things, and that especially goes for when I have a lot of work to do in hours time. Giving myself mini goals throughout the day helps, with little intensives of course.

But someday's are sadly, not satisfactory days, and those are the days I learn the most from. Maybe not right away, but eventually. For example- finding my way of out of routine, and being comfortable with switching it up. 

One thing I have learned is that humans, the super animals we are, we have learned to adapt. After all, we have had to adapt many times. Over the course of 4.2 Billions years, we have evolved our brains to of live in the now, and not just surviving in the now.

The human brain changes to how the body functions, to the environment in which your surrounded, and above anything else, it shapes its ridges when there the effort is being poured into improving yourself.

{{{{This clip is about Adaptability. Positive Outlook & Moving forward. }}}}

Because humans are so good at adapting, it can be hard for me to peel myself away from a routine that I enjoyed. Enjoyed meaning, no longer, but used to. It's gets hard for me when something ends, because most of the time I don't choose to do things that I won't enjoy. I try to accept that certain fulfillment that used to boast inside me, no longer does so. Its like letting go of someone you love, and remembering the good things about them. Once I take that final step in the acceptance of letting go of something, or even someone, I will find that space is open up for more enjoyable opportunities.

When I notice myself getting into a pattern, I usually take the high road and run from it. Right now, those are some aspects that I am struggling with. It's the simple things that are easy to change, like switching up the walk to and from a certain place. 

Sometimes I am not sure if its because of the commitment issues I have struggled with for most of my life. Now don't confuse commitment, with loyalty, or honesty. When I say commitment, I mean routine. 

I absolutely try to follow no routine. The problem with this is, I can fall into routine as easily as crisp colorful leaves on a windy Hallows Eve. If I really enjoy whatever "it" is, it can be hard for me to imagine my life without. This could be a routine of writing all day, spending all my time with one person, or even spending too much alone time in one day. 

 Usually, when people enjoy something, they like to incorporate it into their daily existence. Anyone that creates that euphoric element into their lives, shouldn't shoo it away if it continues to be enjoyable. When I do get some sort of routine going on in my life, it is a big deal. I try to stay away from it because once I get into routine, I become bored, and life isn't as vibrant, and I don't feel so ALIVE anymore.

But isn't that what life is about? Finding out what you like more of, and what you can do less of? What makes your heart flutter, or what puts your stomach in knots?

I struggle to maintain a brave face for the world. I know what I do want, right now, but its the unknown path ahead that lay ahead which I scarcely dread. Facing what the unknown is, IS scary. That's is why facing whatever I am scared of pushes me to understand myself more. 

What I want now, is not something I will want in 10 years. Whatever goal I have in my mind now, is something I want to say I did 10 years from now. Its that famous saying I hear a lot in my life,  "I wish I were young again" that keeps me motivated to keep doing things while I am still young. When I am older, I only hope to have had plenty experiences I will have learned from, to find out the meaning of my life, and to have become sagacious from all experiences. 

For most of my life, and this whole year especially, I have come to realize that I love my freedom. I don't have another living thing to take care of but myself. I think this stage I am in, has been a crucial learning curve. I have been thankful for all the beautiful moments it has been bringing me. 

"We think much less than what we know. We know much less than what we love. We love much less than what there is. And to this precise extent, we are much less than what we are.~R.D. Laing"

My current Struggle....?

Having all that freedom for myself? Well, that has become routine..... 

And in times like now, when I need to switch things up, but not sure how do so... that is where my gears start moving from the unknown, and I start to get into a rhythm of improvement. I have not a clue where it will go, but I know whatever it may be, if I try to stay optimistic about it, good things will happen. 

I used to wake up to noisy, obnoxious alarm clock. The one that most people like to push snooze on, over and over, like myself. I use to be that person who would have to get up, and use all of that energy I had collected overnight, on some factory job. 

 Throughout all the corporate jobs I have had over the years, I would come back to the same thought process, trying to move ahead in my own life, but not gain fulfillment in it, all because I was wiped out from the day job that I had subjected myself to. 

Waking up to that depressing thought of not having enough of time and energy to improve myself was mind altering. I didn't want to wake up to yet, another day, of no self improvement. At the time when I quit my last job, I didn't have an answer to why I did it, but I had a sick feeling about going in one more day. It was one more day I was giving up on myself. I had come to realize that an alarm clock was the worst type of way to wake up, and once I had realized that, good things started falling into place. I have learned a lot about myself from that experience and I only want to learn even more. Soon after I changed that routine, I started to wake up to my ambitions instead.

What kind of accomplishments do you have for yourself? Will you switch out of your routine, to feel a bit more alive today?

Month Of October

October 

1st

 Samsung Galaxy Gear event.

Super fun, Super cute, not to mention super short dresses. Overall, my makeshift living room was ready to be entertained in (Thanks David!) , and I was ready to show the world how to change music on a stereo stereo system with a watch galaxy gear. 

2nd

Emery Carl. My sweet Local Color Coffee Shop, Busker friend. This a place we both frequent, bullshit, and create deep conversations in. Oh yeah, and he happened to be wearing his sea foam green suit.

Picture 2- from my quiet place at the Market. Gazing at this crazy Washington weather.

3rd

While my friend was shooting me in his new music video at the market- 

I had come to realize the frightening fish that apparently has been there forever.

I am not sure if he got that reaction on film or not..... standby.

4th

Newish Busker At Pike, and his Dog Savanna

5th

Music and Friends

I manifested myself into the Michael Franti & Spearhead Concert. With not even 1 plan on how I was getting into the show. I have only been to 3 shows in my life, meaning I am not a huge fan of them. 

No money, No tickets, Not a friend who was going... nothing. I did however tell everyone else I WAS going to be there. 

After me and some Aussie friends of mine, Jason and Mick, went out for a few drinks, we happened to be right in front of the Moore theater. At that point, (and after a few drinks) I had forgotten that the show we still going on. 

Right in front of Michael's tour bus, cheerfully talking with the officers guarding his bus, and telling them about how I told everybody that I was going to be at this show, they let me write a note to Michael, telling me I was safe from them messing with it. On a Blue sticky note, I started to write "I wish I had the money to watch you play tonight...". My Australian Mate, turned around from a group of girls chatting, and said "Brie', shes got a ticket for you" and handed me it.

 It was a reaffirmation on my love to the universe and how the world will work out in any which way you desire it to. After talking with the door people, a lovely lady came from inside and told us to follow her. We did, and we were led inside. AND It was Micks Birthday! What a great night!! One that I will hold near and dear to my heart, soul and mind for my lifetime ahead. 

After the show, I finished my note, and stuck it on the door.

6th

Tough Mudder in Black Diamond. 

Handed out "Muddie Wheaties" AKA- chocolate milk, and cereal  Best cereal ever, and I am not joking. Although, after 3 bowls... you kinda want something else. 

I got to dance almost the whole entire event, and I loved it. Check out my lovely ladies blog to know more about the event!

http://theypaymoneyforthat.wordpress.com/2013/10/07/have-you-had-your-wheaties-today/

9th

Hit the road for Eugene- Events & Friends

Traveling with two Gal Pals- Jenna & Taylor, we all set off for an adventure to Eugene together. As usual, my plans were scattered, I had not a clue where I was staying, or who I was staying with once we all got there. 

Tzook was the extra seat that was looking for a ride share, and there is where I met another inspirational character. Tzook is a 22 Year old traveler from Isreal, who has been on the road for 1 year exactly. I felt special to be there for what I think is a bigger reason to celebrate then ones own birthday, and for much better reason to be excited from such accomplishment. Getting know Tzook on the ride down to Eugene was intriguing. We got into conversation abut how in Israel, its a law that you go into military service, his travels thus far on his journey, and about how he got to spend some time with his parents and sister in Canada before his passenger side seat with me. I hope you are doing well Tzook! Best wishes!

"You can learn without using words, but from experience" -Tzook

While talking about how certain kinds of educations don't work for ALL people. 

Once we got to Eugene, it was too late for me to figure out my couch surfing plans. All four of us called it a night, and split hotel costs that night at the University Inn.

10th

Cole And Andrea

Fall Into Your Beauty Tour

While working at The University of Oregon, I had a chance to see some of the campus while handing out beauty bags. It was gorgeous! 

A couple hours into my event, I wasn't sure where I was going to be laying my head for the night. My couch surfer had been busy with work, and I didn't want to be a bother to him, so the plans were up in the air.

Towards the end of my event, I had given this guy, named Cole, a gift bag to take to his wife. We started getting into conversation about travel, the joys of being able to do so without having children, and his old profession as a professor. Cole was wondering where in the area I was staying, and I told him I wasn't really sure at that point. He offered me to crash on his couch, and insisted his wife Andrea wouldn't mind.

Cole and Andrea live in Eugene, and met, I believe, ten years ago in the area. They have no kids, which they like, and collect creative umbrellas from the places they travel. Cole bought Pizza, Andrea made Martinis, we went on a beautiful fall walk, and then I got treated to a movie! All that with a couch to sleep on! Cole and Andrea are the utmost friendly, kind and generous couple that I have met. I am so grateful for their whim of generosity and hospitality! 

11th, 12th, 13th

LEGO Kidsfest

Back from Eugene my next stop was Portland. Taylor and Jenna were awesome gals to pal around with! We said our goodbyes, thank-yous, and of course exchanged are your welcomes, anytimes, and compliments! They headed back up North, and I ventured onto another event

 The event was a huge success, most of my job consisted of being the costume handler. Making sure kids didn't jump, push, shove, or do anything obnoxious to Chase Mccain (or Legoman if youd prefer) 

While in Portland, I stayed with A couchsufer for the night, we went out to eat, and then came back to some guitar jammin, then crashed. I felt terrible because I was going to be working the whole time, and I wasn't going to be able to continue with a high enough energy level. 

I was offered a place to crash with some people who were from the Seattle area. It was super convenient that the total of 5 of us would head to work, and then back to the pad to eat, crash, work 14 hours. Wash, rinse, repeat. By the end of this event- we were all beat tired.

Did I forget to mention I was staying on a goat farm? Yeah, I was surprised as well. I went to walk out the car the first morning, and was greeted by a huge male goat yelling at me. I was in total confusion or I was just super delirious from the night before. 

14th

We took most of the driving back home day- lounging around instead. Before we were to leave Portland, we decided to check out Multnomah falls. It was a little bit out of the way, but we thought it would be worth it, and it was. Such a good way to end a trip. 

15th

Glasses Galore

16th&17th

Mor Beverage

Me and Stefania are now on board with Mor. An enhanced Sparkling water. Our job? Pour samples of all three flavors for students at their High School, at lunch periods. 

17th

18th

Ship, by Ship, by Ship, by Ship.

Olympic Sculpture Park

October 19th

KABOOM Event

6 Hours to build a park, and 6 people to hand out Poweraide/Water, tie up balloons, and join in on some dance parties. Easiest job ever, so much so that we joined in on the fun, and helped build :) Not to mention my team was AWESOME. We all had a good time regardless of the god awful time we had to be there.

 

20th

Beautiful Bellevue Park

23rd

Aussie's and a Brit

I got to see my mates Mick and Jason, who came back down from Alberta, to get there broken down van, which was getting fixed on the border. They ventured down to see me, and brought along a buddy Sean, who is from the UK, and it was his first time in America. Sean is traveling with Mick & Jason to Fernie where they have a cabin for half a year.

My new memories at the Green tortoise Hostel consists of the following

-Watching three men open up Oysters (Good job guys!)

-Drinking beers

-Playing guitar

I am venturing off to Fernie sometime in the near future to stay with you!

Much love you guys

24th

Bonobo Show

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Determination is what got us all three into the Bonobo concert. after almost getting in a couple fights with scalpers at the Showbox, Eamonn managed to get three tickets. Which was a very awesome show, and i encourage everyone to experience some bonobo. 

{Jackie and me got to ride down Post Alley on 

Eamonns Lady Ped. I'm a fan now.}

After the show, we all dispersed. I eventually made my way up to the hill with someone who I had met after the show, to find my Aussies. We found them, and they had found two more Aussies! Carly and Jackson! At one point, I took a look around me and thought "This is fucking awesome. I am surrounded by 5 Australians, 1 Brit, and another american."

{Jackson drunkfully drawing a heart with a sharpie on Carly's face.}

24th

Myspace friends

Once upon a time, there was this thing called Myspace. Where two girls had something in common, a guy we used to date. Over the years on Myspace, they would message each other, "How are you's" and "Whats new?", but these two had never met, or made plans to meet. One day, Myspace kinda died, and they had no more contact. October 24th, while both girls were shopping at the Market, at the same produce stand, and they somehow managed to make out faces, and started to laugh, smile and ponder, all in awhh of course! Unexpectedly, Brie and Cathy finally met. 8 years later! True Story!

25th

Happy Halloween from Choice Produce and Peppers!

 

 26th

Soaking up the fall sun on Green lake and Picnic Point

28th

Mt. Dew- Every Two Minutes

This mission was at a Gamestop in West Seattle. Job: Give away free Mountain Dews to customers who came to the store to pick up their new game at midnight. Making sure they knew how to enter the promo code online to win an Xbox one. Simple, and slowww. Good thing Gamestop provided me with the entertainment with their tablets. 

29th

One Surprise Perk coming up

30th 
Jiffylube encounter

While I was at the local West Seattle Jiffy lube- (getting my car ready to go for the road for an event I will be working In San Fran!!) I was waiting in the little side room, and happened to get in a friendly conversation with another Jiffylube customer. His name is Garrison. I didn't get to spend much time conversing with Garrison, and I hope to get to spend some more time getting to know what his passions are. We exchanged information after I told him about my near future plans. 

I was delighted to get a message from him

"Good to meet you at Jiffylube today. I donated to your blog. I enjoy supporting grass root causes. - Garrison"

It feels good to know that there are people everywhere that are willing to help strangers. I couldn't stop thinking about how great people can be. Not to expect anything from anyone, but enjoy the moment you are living in. 

31st

Morning of Halloween

Axe ONE NIGHT ONLY

This was a fun event! Hand out bracelets, take pictures with show goer's, make sure they used the hastag #AXEONO, and hang out with the "Special guests" in VIP. Yeah. Best of all- make sure everyone else was having a good time, which really means, keep dancing till you hate your heels. My job = Awesome. 

And that was my month of October.